It was this last summer when came across some old pictures and realized how different I look and feel now. The transformation that occurred is due to some changes I’ve made to improve my well-being in the past years.
My Story
I admit, looking at the pictures made me feel proud of my progress. Quitting smoking, minimizing alcohol consumption, eating healthier, increasing my physical activity, and establishing a daily meditation routine paid off.
I lost 20% of my body weight, getting into a healthy BMI (Body Mass Index) range. And, to my surprise, I was looking younger than ten years ago!
On top of this, I was feeling energetic without the almost daily evening fatigue and brain fog. I cannot even recall when was the last time I was feeling like this for longer than a day.
During the same period, my career had continued to evolve steadily, maybe not with the pace of my dreams-thinking 20 years back-but to a very satisfying level by general standards.
I was, and still am, happily married, with my relationship growing stronger and better – alongside other improvements in my life.
I cannot say whether my well-being journey has boosted my career and improved my marriage. But I can definitely say that all three (well-being, career, relationship) complement each other greatly.
However, despite all improvements and my small “success story,” the anticipated feelings of happiness, joy, and fulfillment were absent.
I cannot say that I was depressed. But, there was an emptiness inside, a little sadness for no reason, and an indifference combined with a bit of pessimism for the future.
None of these negative feelings could be explained by my life circumstances.
The Myth of the Midlife Crisis
Not being able to explain all this, and being a man in midlife, the first thing that came to mind was, of course, the notorious, midlife crisis!
So, as we do nowadays, I started googling midlife and doing my research.
To my surprise, there was not much about midlife out there. It seems that midlife is not a very popular discussion topic online as well as in real life.
For some reason, we do not like to talk about it. This is strange, given the importance of this life stage in today’s reality.
The information that you can find in abundance is about midlife crisis. The funny thing is that midlife crisis does not seem to be a real thing according to recent studies. And it’s definitely not what we used to, or were made to believe.
While the midlife crisis can’t be considered to be a real condition, some studies show a slight decrease in life satisfaction during midlife, followed by a reversal and an increase as we grow older.
This drop in life satisfaction in midlife could be partially explained by very high expectations during our younger years and the lower than expected actual impact of individual successes in our overall happiness.
In the opposite direction, increase in life satisfaction past midlife could be credited to the lower happiness expectation we have during middle age and the realization that growing older is not that bad after all!
Midlife Today
Midlife today is generally considered the age of 45 to 65 years old, and it’s utterly different to midlife of the previous generations.
Our life expectancy today is much higher than it used to be.
Due to the advances in healthcare and the exponential rate of further improvements, we will live not only longer lives, but we’ll live them in much better shape. This is referred to as health span-the healthy years of our life.
We can now influence this much more than ever before with our lifestyle.
A 100 year, mostly healthy life is not a faraway dream for someone at midlife today, but a very realistic possibility.
That means that someone at 50 years of age today, has the potential of another 40 healthy and productive years ahead up to his 90s, with another 10 years ahead of “traditional retirement.”
That is a very long time ahead, comparing to just 25 to 30 productive years for the same individual that started working right after college.
So, at midlife today, we have more productive years ahead of us than we have behind us!
Imagine what we can achieve in the years ahead, with the knowledge, experience, network, and resources we have now.
The Prevailing Midlife Narrative
Unfortunately, what I mostly hear from my peers in our discussions about age is that we are getting older and we cannot do the things we used to, or we cannot set ambitious goals because we do not have enough time.
Most of the above limiting beliefs are usually attributed to “midlife crisis!”
I also see the majority of people in middle age not taking care of themselves. They behave as if, their lives were not relevant anymore.
They are getting ready for retirement and old age.
The New Emerging Trend
Thankfully, we start seeing more and more people thriving, not only in midlife but also in their 70s, 80s and even 90s.
They might be a minority now, but they are growing in numbers fast. They are full of life, present, active and influential, still achieving great things on all fronts.
These are the ones I take inspiration from and aspire to be like in the future.
I see the massive positive impact these people have on others, which reminded me of the effect my own actions on well-being had on my small circle, family, and friends, as well.
It was great to see that their initial curiosity on my well-being focused changes, grew into them taking similar initiative toward improving their health.
I am just at the beginning of redefining my midlife journey with the inspiration of incredible individuals that did not allow age to define them or limit their horizons.
What Is This Blog All About
Through this blog I will be sharing information, experiences (successes and failures), resources, and anything interesting or valuable for men that would like to view midlife in a different light.
For now, I will be posting weekly, every Sunday.
It is time that we recognize the uniqueness of midlife today and the enormous opportunity ahead of us.
It is time to debunk the myth of midlife crisis and redefine midlife!
It is time to become a Midlife Contrarian!
Be vibrant, present and powerful, bring joy and happiness to the people around us and inspire others to join the journey!