You feel like nothing matters.
You’re sad.
You don’t know why but you have no motivation to do the stuff that you once enjoyed.
What’s wrong? What’s going on?
Ah, yes! It is the midlife crisis!
Everybody says that something changes in midlife and it’s now happening to you.
It is what it is, and there is nothing you can do about it!
So, should you buy a fancy sports car now? Go crazy and irresponsible like the characters in the movies? Should you find a young partner?
And if you do, where is it going to take you? Will it make you happy?
Or you’ll fulfill the image of the popular myth, the MIDLIFE CRISIS?
Is there an alternative to becoming a sad cliche: a middle-aged guy desperate to hold on to his youth at any price and destroying everything that he’s built so far?
Life Satisfaction in Midlife
Social science and psychology shed some light on what’s going on, and it seems that there is some hope.
Numerous studies mentioned by Jonathan Rauch in his exceptional book “The Happiness Curve: Why Life Gets Better after 50”, show that midlife is indeed connected to a drop in happiness.
But not for everyone and not in the same way. Some experience a rapid decline in satisfaction, often linked to significant events in their lives, loss of a loved one, separation, career disruption, etc. Others experience a mild, gradual decrease in happiness.
The good news is that the drop in life satisfaction around midlife is only temporary, and starts climbing up again as years go by, forming a U curve!
So, if you are anything like the majority of the population, there are some great news: you are about to start feeling happier and happier as the years pass. So, sit back and relax – it’ll all be nice and smooth again.
Or will it? Do you want to make the gamble and put the rest of your life, the one you have worked so hard for, on chance and statistics?
How often have statistics failed us? Far too often in my experience.
Time to Take Full Charge of Your Life
Why is now the best time?
If you fall into the majority of the population whose happiness gets better as they get older, you can make this period longer and multiple times better.
If you do not fall in the majority, you can change that through your actions.
Taking action in this period of your life not only can extend your life in years but, most importantly, it can improve the quality of those years.
Midlife today is very different from what it was for previous generations. We are the first ones to experience it.
The mindset of our parents and grandparents can be extremely unhelpful today. We don’t have to take it easy, slow down or go crazy for a while as those years ahead might be the last ones that we can have some fun.
Midlife today is generally considered to be the age between 45 to 65, and chances are, you are not in the same physical shape as your parents and grandparents were in the same period due to better conditions in your life so far.
Furthermore, going forward, the world you will experience will be even more different, given the accelerating speed of change. Advances in medicine and healthcare in general, as well as conditions we live in, can extend our life by many more quality years, probably more than we can now imagine.
You now have a unique opportunity to design and build the best life and pursue your greatest dreams! You have most probably gone through the period of continuous happiness decline, and you are just about to enter the period of the upward happiness curve.
On top of that, you have everything you need:
You can tap into them without the disadvantages of the earlier years:
- Expectations of others
- Your own unrealistic expectations
- Lack of self-awareness
- Insecurities
- Competitiveness
The Options Ahead
Passive
Just sit back and relax, hoping you fall into the statistics majority where you will slowly be getting happier
Destructive
Go crazy and put at risk all you have built so far
In control, creative
Grab the unique opportunity you have today to become a Midlife Contrarian and create a life beyond your wildest dreams!
Which one will you choose?
Thankyou Nassos
This is a great post and very timely given we are rapidly approaching the New Year as i read and comment.
I particularly liked your summary on the three options ahead and your warning to avoid being destructive / sabotaging.
The avoidance of sabotage seems to be a strong message coming out of several quarters in the last few weeks.
I will certainly be checking out and enjoying your other posts and spreading the word.
Shaun (projectpalmtree.com)
Thank you for your comment Shaun. Indeed, sabotaging is the right word. Unfortunately we see it too often. Let’s keep spreading the word about better options! I love your story and the positive messages on your blog!
Nassos