In the fast-changing world today, threats in midlife are real and so is the fear they create. Ignoring them is not an option. Understanding those threats and acknowledging the fear is crucial.
The Threats
There are threats in every stage of our lives, but in midlife some of those threats are more prevalent.
Health
It is very common for the first symptoms of various health issues to appear around midlife. It can be a good thing if we don’t ignore them, as it allows for early diagnosis, treatment or prevention. Unfortunately, we are very rarely thinking about our health, until we have to!
Work
Whether you are employed or running your own business, threats are always there, especially today due to the pace of change.
Disruption to your job or your business can come from any direction: technology, economy, legislation, social trends, etc. How prepared are you for the possibility of losing your job or going out of business?
Loneliness
You may be surprised by this one, placing it within the top threats in midlife. However, busyness in our lives during midlife and technology (social media, etc.) takes time away from real social interaction. You do not feel the effect of limited human contact from a day, week or month to another. In the longer term, however, it may become an issue.
Loneliness can have psychological and even physiological effects that can significantly impact the quality of your life.
The Fear
Although the threats above are present in almost every stage of our lives, we usually do not really think about them until midlife. And when we do think about them, they tend to generate a lot of fear.
We experience fear when our status quo is threatened. However irrational it may seem at the first glance, it’s very real and can be very powerful.
Even if the threats are imagined, we still experience fear. This happens because we are not entirely logical beings and our brain reacts to our thoughts as if they were a reality. In fact, neuroscience research found that we are mostly emotional beings who rationalize our emotional reactions and decisions.
The Source
To better deal with fear at any given moment, it is essential to understand where is it coming from. Is it from a risk losing your job? Is it from a recent physical exam result?
Uncovering the source of the fear is crucial so you can determine whether it is a real threat or you are just going through a stressful period.
If you identify the source then ask yourself why is this scary to you? You may have to ask why a few times so you go deep and uncover the layers until you reach the original source of fear.
Asking “why” after each of your answers may lead you to the heart of your fear. In some cases you may discover that what initially generated the fear is not that important after all.
Let’s say you are afraid of losing your job.
“Why is that scary for me?” “I will not be able to afford this large fancy house”.
“Why is this an issue?” “Hmm, we do not really need that much space, the children have already moved out. But, what would my social circle think?”
“Why is this important? Well, it is not that important after all! It has been a while since I cared much about status and what others have to say. At the same time, I cannot ignore it completely, since I still want to feel accomplished.”
This outcome is a common one with this approach.
Acceptance
No matter what the real source of your fear is, big or small, accept it. Do not try to dismiss it or pretend that it is not there and try to forget it.
Ignoring it, is not a good strategy, mainly because by doing so, you are risking not doing anything about it.
Fears have a lot in common with other kinds of problems. They will not just go away if you do nothing about them. Even worst, fears are yours, and only you can do something about them. Where other problems, sometimes can be solved by someone else.
What to Do
Evaluating your current threats and being mindful of any risks to your current situation is helpful to manage fear.
Prioritize Health
- Perform a general physical examination, if you have not done one recently and visit your physician
- Evaluate your current eating habits and discuss improvements with an expert and your physician
- If not active, engage in a frequent physical activity, even if it is just walking 30′ daily
Evaluate Work-Related Threats & Opportunities
- Identify any possible disruptors to your current work, or market, internal or external, and evaluate the likelihood and imminency
- Explore any opportunities arising from your findings. Very often, changes pose not only threats but also present opportunities
- Take action to take advantage of the opportunities immediately
- Create a “Plan B” now; what you will do in the worst case scenario, should the threats materialize
- Start a side gig if possible, regardless of the likelihood of potential threats, because:
- it will keep you stimulated and creative
- you may discover what you really love doing and make it your main occupation
- you can minimize fear as you can have something already going if worst case scenario comes true
Engage with Others
- Spend more time and be more present with your partner, family, and loved ones
- Reconnect with good old friends
- Explore more opportunities to meet new people, not only online
- Quality over quantity, your time is valuable
Conclusion
Navigating midlife today can be challenging and at times even scary. However, threats and accompanying fears should not freeze us in our tracks.
There are ways to stay calm, explore the situation and turn fear into creativity so that you can exploit new opportunities for a fulfilling life.
